Forks' Baby Boom
by Zukaddy
Summary: Bella and the Cullens have a class project: raise a "baby." The only problem, they can't pick their partners. What happens when Bella doesn't get Edward? And how about the other Cullens? Who are their partners? What do her friends think? Charlie? Jake? EB
1. Partners

**Hey! I came up with this idea some rainy day! (which is like every day, where I live, which is not Forks… sadly…) I hope you like it! I know there are a couple of stories like this one, but please read mine, it's got some unusual twists!**

Forks' Baby Boom

Chapter 1: Partners

"Well, I guess we're gonna be parents."

"Yeah… I call being the guy!" Emmett shouted.

Edward sighed. "Okay, I'll be the girl."

Whoa, hold up. Let me go back to the beginning. It started this morning. It was Wednesday and a pretty normal day: gray and rainy. The semester had ended yesterday, so today was the start of my new class: Human Development and Relations. In other words: Health Class.

We had all signed up: me, Edward, Alice, and the rest of the gang. It was one of the few Junior/Senior classes and we wanted to be together. Mike, Angela and a few of my other friends were taking it too.

I had heard it was a fun class, and the class project, raising "children," was the most interesting project of the year.

That was where the "we're gonna be parents" thing came from…

The class was right before lunch, so I was starving when I walked in.

I took a seat alone by the windows, since I was the first in the classroom, and though of lunch. Edward and the other Cullens filed in over the next two minutes.

The teacher, Mrs. Cook, was up at the front, trying to get the classes' attention. Kids were throwing paper, talking, texting, and doing those things kids to between classes. I started to feel bad for her until—

"Shut up," she exploded! "Okay," her voice returned to normal once she had our attention, "now that you're listening, today we are starting our Baby project."

The class cheered and Edward whispered in my ear, "The first step after marriage is having a baby, you know."

I shuddered at the word marriage. Even if it was Edward I was marrying not Mike Newton or anyone weird, the idea of marriage still creeped me out. Charlie and Renee had raised me well…

My stomach rumbled so I forgot our engagement and thought about food. My thoughts preoccupied me so that I didn't here what the teacher said next. Edward filled me in later.

"Oh yeah, and you can thank last semester's class for this, I'm picking your partners."

This announcement was followed by a series of groans, moans, and "oh crap's."

Of course, I didn't hear any of this. In fact, I didn't snap back to reality until she read, "Isabella Swan and Michael Newton, you guys now have a new baby!"

Edward growled under his breath and my mouth dropped open.

Mike Newton.

I was partnered with Mike. Oh god, Edward's gonna kill someone. Probably him…

I saw Mike smile and wave from across the room, but I pretended I didn't see and ignored him.

Mrs. Cook kept reading. Alice was with Jasper (lucky duck). Rosalie was with Eric. I saw her face go from shock, to horror, to plotting in a few seconds flat. I really didn't want to know what she was thinking, but Edward seemed to feel it was funny.

I was listening to see what girl would get Edward, and what girl I could hit later. I could swear I saw Jessica crossing her fingers until she was partnered with Tyler. Angela was with Ben (so not fair!) and they were pretty excited. The list went on until Mrs. Cook read the last group.

Edward and Emmett didn't have partners.

"Okay, there should be one person without a partner. Who is the lucky kid?"

My boys raised their hands. "We don't." Edward's voice was dead, of course, he know what she was thinking so…

"Oh! I guess I miscounted!" She looked over her class list to make sure she didn't miss any girls, either.

"No, you just like to torment teenagers," Edward said under his breath. I elbowed him in the ribs.

"I guess we have an uneven number of boys! Well, you two will have to be our exotic couple! Your baby will have two daddies!"

The class burst into laughter and Edward's face fell into impassive depression. Emmett was laughing it up with the rest of the class.

"Okay, everyone! Break up into groups and decide who is going to carry the belly for a week."

Tyler raised his hand.

"Yes? Mr.… Tyler?"

"Um, what belly?"

"The 'girl' will have to wear a fake pregnant belly for a week. It's the pregnancy experience. Your groups will also have to be together almost all the time."

My head dropped in defeat at that. So much for an "awesome project." So far I was partnered with Ew-Mike, had to wear a heavy, fake stomach, and I would have to spend even more time with Ew-Mike.

You know, Ew-Mike is a really good nickname for him…

"Okay, break up!" Mrs. Cook called over the already chatting class.

Mike walked over to my chair. "Hey, Bella! I guess I got you knocked up, huh?"

Edward pretended to take a bite out of Mike's neck from behind him. I threw my Spanish book at him, but he ducked. "Um, no. Never gonna happen. But I'll wear the belly, since I'm the girl."

"Cool. I really didn't want to wear that thing, sorry. The guys would never let me live it down…"

"Yeah, I know. Sweet, now that we got that settled, bye!" I walked over to where Edward and Emmett were sitting. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mike staring at my butt. Just for him, I made sure to swing my hips a bit more.

Edward and Emmett were just staring at each other. Good thing Edward was concentrating on something else. If Mike was thinking what I know he was thinking, Edward would have killed him.

"Wow, you guys got far."

"Well, I guess we're gonna be parents," Edward murmured.

"Yeah… I call being the guy!" Emmett yelled.

Edward sighed and looked like he wanted to kill himself, if he could. "Okay… I'll be the girl."

Emmett and I cracked up at that. I could just imagine what Edward would look like with a pregnant belly, and it wasn't pretty…

I guess Emmett was seeing that too in his head because Edward looked ready to throw himself at him. I managed to put my arm on him as I tried to catch my breath. "Ed-ward. Calm. Down!"

He just glared at me.

"Come on. Silly. Goose! Lighten. Up!" Emmett was trying to catch his breath too.

The bell rang and Alice bounced over to us. "I'm pregnant!"

I laughed at the impossibility of that statement. "So am I!"

She fake gasped. "Bella! You're cheating on Edward!"

"Yep, with Mike. I've dumped Jake too," I laughed.

"Bad girl! Well, we have to get you some food; I know I'm having cravings already. And after school we need to get some maternity clothes!"

I stopped in my tracks, my sneakers making black lines on the tiles. "Maternity clothes?"

"Yeah, silly! Once you have that belly on you won't fit into any of your clothes. Trust me. I've taken this class before."

I guess I'd have to take her word for it; she was the psychic after all.

**Do you like it? Do you hate it? Tell me please! I know Bella didn't agree to marry him until they were seniors, but just go with me here! The marriage thing only comes up in this chapter… **

**Title subject to change…**

**Review!**


	2. Cravings

**Whoo! You all love it and I love you! And I'm gonna keep the title since the people I've asked about it like it. I'm not crazy about it, but it's okay for now!**

**Fabulous!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Pillsbury, Tastykake, or anything else mentioned that is copyrighted. **

Chapter 2: Cravings

Alice followed me to my locker and waited as I grabbed my books for Bio. Edward had had to go print something out in the library before English.

We walked together to the cafeteria and did our normal routine of my buying food I would eat, and she piling a plate full of food that she would only eat if she were tied down and force-fed. I paid, waited for Alice, and took my normal seat at our now-crowded table.

Edward joined us after a few minutes. He still looked pretty peeved and I couldn't help but tease him about it. "Geez, Edward! Why didn't you tell me you were gay?"

He just glared at me. Alice laughed at my joke. "It's okay, Edward. You had to come out of the closet sometime!"

Emmett and Jasper came up behind Edward. Rose had left right after class; she had some things to take care of before tomorrow. I was nervous, Eric was weird, but he was a nice kid. If Rosalie hurt him, I would be very angry.

"Hello? Earth to Bella!" Alice waved her hand in front of my face.

"Huh? What?"

"Eat, new-mommy. Your poor baby is starving!"

"Alice, you know this is a fake project, right?"

"Yeah, but still, even fake pregnancies can cause cravings. I really want to go hunting right now, by the way. Jazzy, baby, can you and I go out after school?"

He nodded. "Sure, I wanted to go out anyways."

All this talk of food was making me hungry. I looked down at my tray. I had an apple, Iced Tea, and a lukewarm, greasy pizza. But all I wanted right now was a tray of hot, gooey brownies. They had to be from a box—Pillsbury preferably. I loved the little doughboy.

"Mmm. Edward, can you do something for me?"

He looked up, still a bit ticked off, but managed a, "What, love?"

"Can you go to the store and get me a box of Pillsbury brownies?"

"Why would you want me to get you brownies? Just go buy a Tastykake."

"Nooo! Eddie! I neeeeeed Pillsbury!" By now I was clutching my stomach and the table was staring at me. I guess I was the only one who had their pregnant hormones really kicking in. At least, fake ones.

He sighed. "Alright. I've got ten minutes. But what do you want with a box of brownie mix? Are you gonna make me bake them for you?"

"Yeah! Mrs. Cooney has ovens and pans in the cooking room. You've got time, so you should be fine!" I was grinning now, glad that he was giving in.

Next to me, Alice was giggling into her hand. "Yeah, Bella. You sure aren't gonna have cravings!"

I ignored her and gave Edward my best puppy-dog face. "Please, Edward!"

"No way! Mrs. Cooney would never let me bake in her ovens when I'm not in her class, and even if she did, I'm not doing it!"

"Edward! You get this pregnant woman her brownies!" Alice screeched.

"Now, guys. Edward's pregnant too, so I'll get Bella her brownies. Jeez! You girls sure are weird!" Emmett offered, laughingly.

Edward glared at Emmett's joke, but thanked him. "Just get them."

"Okey-dokey artichokey!" Oh gosh, sometimes Emmett was exactly like a little kid.

Emmett left and I ate my lunch. By the time we were dismissed, he still hadn't come back, and I was getting upset. Well, more like bitchy. "Where are my brownies!!!!!!" I screamed in the hallways.

"Calm down, love. He'll be back soon."

Just then Mike sidled up to me. "Hey, baby. Come on, we're gonna be late to class." He took my hand and started pulling me through the crowd.

"Uh, Mike?" I glanced back and saw Edward's eyes turning black. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting my pregnant girl to class!"

"Um, I was okay, thanks." With perfect timing I tripped over someone's feet. Wow, way to make a point.

Mike laughed. "No, you needed me, trust me on this. I can't have the mommy of my unborn child getting hurt!"

Oh man, he was taking this way too far. "Mike, you know I'm not actually pregnant with your child, right?"

He turned away and mumbled something. Now, I don't have Edward's super hearing, but I swear he said, "Not yet."

Until now I had let myself be dragged through the halls and be caught by Mike, but that pushed me over the edge. I ripped my hand out of his and snapped. "I think I'll be fine from here, thanks. See you later."

Edward had caught up by now and I gladly put my hand in his. "I'll take her from here," he growled.

Mike's face went from surprise, to fear, to hate in a matter of seconds. "I'm the daddy," he growled back.

"I'm the really daddy."

Whoa! That was a surprise there! Apparently I was cheating on Mike with Edward. But Edward was gay, and I was marrying him, and so really I was cheating on Edward with Mike and making it seem vice verse. Try figuring that out! I still am.

"According to Ms. Cook, I am."

"Does Ms. Cook keep tabs on Bella 24/7?" Edward's eyebrows went up as he asked the rhetorical question.

That surprised me too. He and I never went any farther than kissing, he'd made that clear, and here he was, trying to convince Mike that we were doing more than we actually were! Wow, this project is stirring up way more drama than it's worth.

I stepped in at this point. "Boys! Calm down! It's really not worth it! Mike, Edward can get me to class, thanks. He's my real boyfriend, and since we're not in class, I'll have him get me to Bio."

Mike's face dropped and I felt a bit guilty, but it was swept away as I remembered what I really needed right now: brownies.

"Where the hell is Emmett!"

"I'm back! I'm back! God, Bella, calm down!" He ran up, holding a tray of warm brownies in his left hand, and a knife in his other.

"Screw the knife!" I grabbed the hot pan from him and started scooping the goop into my mouth. "Mmmmmm…."

"Gosh, Edward. She's not saving any for you! Do you want me to get you one for your pregnant cravings too?" Emmett joked.

I was too busy shoving the heavenly brownies into my mouth to notice the boys fighting on the floor, but Alice sure did. I wasn't sure where she had come from, but she was down there, trying to get them apart.

"Mmmm…"

"Bella! Help me!"

"What?" I couldn't see my face, but it sure felt like I had crumbs all over it. I tried to wipe them away, but my hands were just as nasty.

"Stop Edward!"

That was when I noticed what they were doing. "Edward! Stop! It's okay, you can have some too!"

He stopped as soon as I said the magic word, but stomped over to me once I finished my sentence. "Do you guys think it's funny that I have to be the woman and wear a giant plastic stomach for a week?"

I nodded and Emmett screamed his agreement.

"Ugh!" Edward stomped off toward Bio. "Bella, are you coming?"

"One sec!" I wanted to finish my brownies.

As soon as I was finished, I put the tray down on a water fountain. The janitors would find it, and hopefully they would take it back to the cooking rooms. Suddenly, Mike was there. Now, I was wondering why the bell hadn't rung yet when he appeared, so I didn't really notice as he took my hand again and whispered, "Baby, come with me," in my ear.

He started dragging me again, and this time I let him. Heck, it's only a week; why not let him have his fun?

Edward's face popped into my mind as I thought that. Well, he could have his fun, as long as he kept his lips and hands to himself…

I took my hand back, but continued walking next to him. Part of the assignment was spending time together, anyways. Might as well start it now…

As I took my seat in Biology, the PA crackled and Ms Cook's voice came over the loudspeaker. "Attention all students taking Human Developments and Relations: after school, please come to my office to pick up your stomachs. I repeat, please come to my office after school to pick up your stomachs."

As soon as the announcement ended, I felt my phone buzz; it was receiving a text. "We're going shopping after school," it read. It was from Alice.

Great, this day was just getting better and better.

**Wow! That chapter was 5 pages! That's one of the longest chapters I've ever written! I hope you liked it, so please review!**

**By the way, 20 reviews for the first chapter was awesome! Keep it up!**


	3. Maternity

**Okay, My friend Meredith was the inspiration for this chapter and the one before this. Check out her stories: dictionizzuh. But she can't update cuz she doesn't have Internet anymore… so you probably won't get any updates from her for a while…**

**Lol, this chapter is gonna be funny. I can tell. **

Chapter 3: Maternity

I was waiting in line for my "belly" when Alice came bouncing up to me. "We are so going shopping!"

I sighed. "Fine, but I am so not wearing the belly at the mall."

She crossed her arms and stuck out her hip. Oh god, when Alice looked like this there was no messing with her. "You have to wear the belly! First of all, it's the rules. Second, we need to make sure everything fits. The best way to do that is by wearing the belly and trying everything on while it's on! Gosh, Bella. You know nothing about being pregnant, and you can actually get pregnant! I don't have that luxury."

I had stopped listening to her rant at the first word, but the last sentences caught my attention. "Ugh! Don't remind me! I know Edward won't change me until the wedding day, but I certainly don't plan on getting pregnant before then! I will never be able to do that either, ice girl."

She huffed and turned away. Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands circle my waist. "Hey, baby," I giggled.

"Wow, Bella. I never knew you felt that way about me!"

Uh, Mike.

"Hey, Newton. Did you forget everything we talked about this afternoon?" Mike looked up into Edward's blazing eyes.

"Uh, no. Sor—I—uh. Bye!" He ran off in the opposite direction of his locker.

"Hey, Mike!" He turned around, looking hopeful. "You're locker's that way!"

His face fell and he slumped back toward us. "Right. Bye."

As soon as he was out of sight I started laughing so hard I thought I'd pee my pants! "Oh. My. God! Did you see his. Face!" I was trying to catch my breath, to no avail.

"Well, he certainly won't mess with Edward again! You know how pregnant men can get," Alice's eyes twinkled with hidden laughter.

That sent me into a new round of giggles. Poor Edward! "Aw, Edward! It's okay. I love you even if you are a freak of nature!"

I guess Edward had gotten used to our teasing, because he only looked annoyed right now, not livid like normally.

I was about to call him on his tolerance of our banter when I heard a harsh, "Next!" right behind me. I spun around to see Mrs. Cook holding a giant rubber… thing. "Here. Next!" She shoved one of the things into my arms and pushed me away.

"This is my baby?"

Alice laughed at my cluelessness. "You should see your face! Priceless! Gosh, I wish I had a camera." She started searching through her bag for her phone. "Oh, it's here somewhere!"

I ignored her mumbling and looked back at Edward who was just receiving his belly. "Um, what side is up?" His face must have been close to my expression, so I couldn't help agreeing with Alice. It was funny.

"I don't know, but Alice and I are going shopping now. Can you drop us off at the mall?"

His face was scrunched up, trying to find the "this side up" arrows. "Um, sure. I might wanna come. You know, get some big shirts and stuff."

Alice, who by now had given up her search for the cell, shot up. "Yes! Oh I know exactly what you need!" She tapped her head for emphasis. "Come on, we can drop the others at home. Although, Rosalie should probably come with us."

"Oh, I don't need too," she said, walking up with perfect timing. "I convinced Mrs. Cook to let me be the one 'miscarriage' in our class. I don't have to wear a belly!"

I sighed in relief. "Good, so since you don't have to have a belly you won't, like, hurt Eric, will you?"

She smiled diabolically and I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach like I'd been punched. "Oh, no. I won't kill him."

She hadn't answered my question, and she knew it. Before I was able to try to wring her perfect little neck she had flounced off.

"Ugh! Why her! Why couldn't unfortunate Eric get someone normal?"

"That's life. Suck it up." Standing on her tiptoes, Alice tried to fling her arm around my shoulders, and failed.

"Okay, girls. I'm leaving soon so let's get going."

We both grabbed our backpacks and followed Edward. He had managed to find the top of the rubber contraction and was now trying to untangle the straps, while shoving his way through the crowds. The Thursday rush was awful. You'd think Friday's were worse, but since so many people stayed after for games, they actually weren't that bad. We were lagging behind and Edward, who was now standing outside, was looking pretty impatient. I waved and slowed down a bit. His face became even angrier and I decided to get going and not push my luck. He had had a rough day.

Alice and I finally managed to push our way out of the school. Edward was waiting with the Volvo right in front of us. "Well aren't you a gentlemen!" I exclaimed as I crawled into the front seat. Rosalie was in the back and I could see Emmett driving his was through the crowds. Jasper was staying after for a Chess Club meeting. **(AN- somehow I just see him as a chess nerd…)**

"Alright, guys. I'm dropping Rose and Emmett off at home and then the rest of us are going to the mall. Tell Esme for me, will you?" Edward told us.

"Will do mama," Emmett laughed.

"Alright, guys, enough with the Edward-pregnant jokes. They're actually getting pretty old. Next person to crack a preg joke gets a crack in their skull," Alice warned.

Emmett quickly shut his mouth and looked like he was going to explode trying to keep in his laughter.

"Don't you dare, fancy pants."

He stopped.

We rode the rest of the way in silence. I stared out the window and tried to not concentrate on the fact that Edward was driving at 160 mph. It was a normal routine in his car.

By the time we pulled up to their house, the tension in the car was thick as butter. We dropped off Rosalie and Emmett and drove off. The mood in the car noticeably lightened once we left the couple behind. "Okay, girls. What mall?"

Alice thought for a moment. "Go to the Port Angeles one. There's a good maternity store there."

Maternity! "Alice! I thought we were just getting some big shirts to cover the stomachs!"

"No silly goose! We have to look fantabufreakinglicious! **(Copyright: me)** That involves full on maternity wear. Don't worry, there's some cute stuff."

That wasn't what I was worried about. Alice in a mall, with a mission, was a scary thing. I figured we could get in, buy some baggy shirts, and get out. I didn't plan for a big shopping spree, and I definitely didn't have the money. "Alice, I didn't bring enough money for a lot of stuff. I'll just get one or two shirts. It's only a week."

She flew forward and crashed into my seat. It was like a ton of bricks hitting me in the back. "No! I'll buy your stuff. You just try them on."

It was hard to argue with a ton of bricks, so I didn't. "Oh, so she can buy you things but I can't," Edward said.

"No, you can't. Your gifts are expensive. Hers are just t-shirts. It's a huge price difference."

He mumbled to himself and turned back to the road.

We arrived at the mall around 4:00. We parted ways with Edward once we got to the maternity store: Mommies To Be. He said he didn't want to see me in clothes like that, so he'd better make his way over to Macy's for some t-shirts. We agreed to meet up in an hour outside Starbucks.

"Let's go!" Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me into the brightly lit store.

We were shopping for 45 minutes before I finally had to protest. "Alice! I don't need all these clothes, and neither do you! It's a five day project!" My belly, which we had put on before I tried anything on, was heavy and sticky.

"To you it might be just a project, but to me this is a creative expression of my soul!"

"Shopping is your creative expression?"

"Yes!" She took out her credit card and went up to the counter to purchase the clothes.

Five minutes later we were walking around, holding three bags each. I felt like a freak carrying all this stuff. When would I ever need it? I planned on being a vampire before I would ever get pregnant. Alice, once again, was going way overboard. I was going to need to get used to her doing this if I was going to be her sister-in-law.

We were walking around, window-shopping, when I spotted a familiar head. "Oh my god! It's Jacob!"

He was a few feet ahead of us, walking toward us. Because of the smells and sounds, he hadn't noticed us yet, but we had noticed him. Alice growled and went into an attack position, but I put my hand out to stop her. I was too busy concentrating on restraining Alice that I didn't see when he veered toward us.

"Hey, Bella!"

I spun around and hit him with my stomach. "Hey, Jake! Wow, I haven't see you in a long time!"

He eyed my stomach. "Yeah, a lot's happened, huh?"

"Um, yeah!"

"So what have you and Edward been up to?"

"Oh, you know. The usual…" I was getting uncomfortable, and it was obvious he was too.

"Well, that's cool… I guess." He was staring at my big belly now, and looked like he might cry.

I decided to let him in on the project. "Jake? Hello? I'm not pregnant!"

"Well, unless you've gained thirty pounds to just your stomach, I think you're wrong!"

"No, it's a school project, see!" I lifted up my shirt a bit to show him the straps.

"Oh." I visibly saw him relax. "Good!"

"Beside, it was Mike who got me like this, not Edward." I sounded bitter saying this and tried to correct myself. Mike wasn't a horrible choice, I could have someone else… like… um… oh forget it, getting Mike sucked butt.

He laughed at my statement and I could feel the tension between us fading. Alice was still about to pounce at him, so we said our goodbyes and went on our way. It was two minutes after five now, so we needed to catch up with Edward.

"Hey, baby!" I called once he was in sight.

"Are you talking to me or to the belly?" He asked, laughing.

"Both!"

With all of us in good spirits, except for Alice who was still pissed about the Jacob thing, we left the mall. Edward had gotten a few basic shirts to cover the stomach for a week. I showed him the full-on maternity wear that Alice had made me get. He laughed as I showed him my favorite shirt, a tight, red shirt that read 'Baby on Board. Bite Me.' I liked that it showed exactly how I felt, Edward liked that it said 'bite me.' Of course he would find humor in that…

We walked out to the car and drove back to their house. I was staying the night since we had a lot of 'baby prepping' to do. Tonight was going to be a weird one… I could feel the inside jokes forming…

**Yay! I don't like the end a ton, but its only 6:45 AM so give me a break! Ok, I hope y'all review cuz this is the longest chapter I've written, ever! (I think)**


	4. Walking Planets

Wow

**Wow! I was just hit by a huge burst of writing energy! Lol! So I decided to update the story that I haven't written in 3 months! Wow, that's a long time. I am so sorry for the wait!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Chapter 4: Walking Planets

BPOV

We pulled up to a fully lit house. Every light in the Cullen's huge house was blazing and we could see people zipping through the house. I guess Emmett and Jasper were doing something crazy.

Edward tried to pick me up, but his massive belly made that impossible. "It's okay, Edward. I can walk, well, I can waddle." So I managed to get myself into the house.

Edward tried to run, but it ended up looking more like speed waddling. If there was an Olympic competition to see how funny you could look while walking preggies, Edward took the cake!

I laughed and followed him.

As I went into the house, I couldn't see much. It was sort of like those movies where they show you how something is built, but they zip through it really fast because it actually takes hours to put it all together. Emmett and Jasper were doing just that, except for the fact that it was happening in real-time.

They were setting up what looked like cribs in the middle of the living room.

"Jasper? Emmett? What are you doing?" I was a little confused. Alice may have seen this in the future, and Edward could hear what they were thinking, but I was not so wonderfully talented and no one was explaining to me what was going on.

"We're building y'all cribs!" Jasper said as he zipped by me.

"Why?"

"For the babies! Why else?"

"Um, you know they're dolls. Right?"

"Yes, Bella. We know they're dolls, but we still want a good grade."

"Bella! How's my favorite walking planet?" Emmett's voice came from behind me, and before I could turn around he had lifted me off the ground. "Ha! Even with the baby weight you still weigh nothing!"

"Thanks, Em. Can you put me down now? Edward looks like he might miscarriage if my feet don't touch the ground in ten seconds."

My comment only made Edward more angry.

"Aw! Sorry, Eddie! I didn't mean it that way. You just looked so angry and stress is not good for pregnant men, you should know that."

"Okay, now that we've all had a good laugh at my expense, can you tell me where Rosalie is?"

"Why do you want to know where MY wife is?"

"Well, since she's technically Eric's wife for the next few weeks, I figure I have a right to know as much as anyone else."

"You know, Eddie. I might just go get a divorce."

"Be my guest. Maybe Bella will be able to divorce Mike and then I wont have to stop myself from punching out his guts every time I see him."

"Edward! You know, I really am not sure I want to marry someone with such anger-management issues. Maybe I should take back my promise." I was laughing as I said it, so it didn't register much fear.

He just glared at me some more.

"Come on, Jasper. We need to get these MTV Cribs built before morning!"

"You guys are vampires, doesn't it take, like, two seconds?" Alice asked.

"You know, you'd think it would, but those directions are so weird. It's like they're in Norwegian or something!" Emmett cried.

"Alice, since I'm technically not married to any of you people, maybe Mike should put my 'crib' together. Wait, are these cribs requirements?"

"Yeah." "No." Emmett and Jasper said at the same time.

"Which is it?"

"Well, we're supposed to have something for the baby to sleep on, but it doesn't have to be a crib. I could be the floor for all she cares. We just figured the newest Cullens deserved the best!"

"Well I'm going to Mike's. Bye guys."

"No you're not."

"Um, Edward. You are not my 'husband' yet. So you have no control over what I do. And even when we're married you have no control."

"It doesn't matter. I'll lock you in Alice's room."

"Control freak, much!"

"I do it because I love you."

"Screw you. I'm leaving."

I ran out the door before he could stop me and was gunning my truck as he ran after me. I flipped him off and yelled that if he followed me I would cancel our engagement.

"You don't mean that, do you?"

"What do you think, Eddie poo?"

I laughed manically as I drove out onto the road. I knew how to get to Mike's house after my horrible "date" with him and Jake.

Within ten minutes I was ringing his doorbell and asking to come in. "Hey, Mike!"

"Um, hey, Bella."

"So. I figured since I committed at least one sin by letting you get me knocked up, I should just go all the way to hell by hanging out with you!"

"Uh, thanks?"

"Cool. So how's the crib coming along?"

"Crib?"

"What is with you? Are we only answering with one word tonight? Cuz I so didn't get that memo."

"No."

"Whatev. You know, crib. Like, for the baby to sleep in?"

"You know it's not a real baby, right?"

"Of course! But Alice and Edward are getting cribs for their babies, so I figure we should too. That is, unless you want to make our precious baby cakes sleep on the floor."

"No, I don't wanna, uh, do that."

"Good. You go buy a crib. I'm gonna go get some taco bell."

**Ha! I really wanna go watch Juno now. Maybe I can get my mom to rent it from NetFlix. **

**Please review! It's my first update in forever!!**


	5. The Meanest Person

Since I haven't updated in so long, and a bunch of people asked, I'm going to post 2 chapters in a day

**Since I haven't updated in so long, and a bunch of people asked, I'm going to post 2 chapters in a day!**

**Disclaimer: It's still not mine.**

Chapter 5: The Meanest Person

BPOV

After leaving Mike's, I drove right home. I had told everyone my "news" except Charlie. Hmm… maybe I could give him a little scare.

"Dad? I'm home!"

"Hi, Bells. I'm in the living room."

Of course he was. Well, at least he was sitting down.

"Um, I've got something to tell you." I said all of this to him without actually letting him see me. I went into the kitchen, got a coke, put my stuff down, and was now watching him from the kitchen. From where he was, all he could see was my head.

"Don't tell me you're getting married."

"Dad! Don't worry. You raised me better than that."

"Oh, okay. So spit it out Bells."

"I'm pregnant."

Silence.

"I thought you said I raised you well."

"It's not Edward's baby, don't worry." Ha, was it even possible for a vampire to get a human pregnant?

"Then whose is it?"

"Mike's."

"The Newton boy?"

"Yeah." That was when I walked into the living room and let him see me in all my fake preggo glory. The shock on his face was like a 100 on the 'how red can a Swan's face get?' scale. Emmett would be proud.

"Um, Bella. It's been a long time since I've seen your mother pregnant, but don't you usually get that big around your 7th month?"

"Gotcha! It's a class project, dad. Don't worry. I am not, nor do I plan to be in the near future, pregnant." In my planned future, of course, I would be stone hard and not able to get pregnant.

"You are the meanest daughter to ever walk the face of the planet." His face was back to his normal color, thankfully. I only meant to freak him out a little, not cause a stroke.

"I know. So, what do you want for dinner?"

"I called for pizza since you weren't home yet. It should be here in a few minutes."

Right on time, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!"

I grabbed two twenties and opened the door to a very startled Eric. "That'll be 20.45. Oh, hi Bella."

"Hi Eric! So how's fatherhood coming along?"

"Oh my god! It's horrible! Rosalie is crazy! She's gone all psycho mom and it's scaring me! I don't think I can survive the next two weeks!"

I laughed. That described Rose to a T. "Don't worry. I'll talk to her. Just let her know who is boss: her. Don't get in her way, and don't ask questions."

"Thanks, Bella."

I handed him the money with a pretty good tip. "No problem, Eric. We all got stuck with pretty crappy partners. You just got one of the worst." I smiled at him and closed the door.

"Bella? Who was that at the door? Was that the pizza guy?"

"Yeah, he's a friend from school so I was just asking him how he's doing on our baby project."

"Oh, okay."

I grabbed a few slices of pizza and went upstairs to try to do homework.

Around nine, Edward popped his head through my open window. "Can I come in, or are you mad at me?"

"Of course you can come in! And I'm not mad at you, silly. You're just in a very funny position and I'm taking every advantage of it that I can."

"You, Miss Swan, are one of the meanest people to walk the face of this planet."

"You know, two people have said that to me today. I think it's some kind of record." He patted my belly and laughed. "Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"What is it with everyone and one syllable today?"

"Huh?"

"When I went over to Mike's he was only talking in one word answers and now you are too!"

"Well, sorry for that."

"It's okay. You're forgiven. It's mean to stay mad at a pregnant man."

Now it was his turn to be mad.

"Kidding!"

"Sure you were."

"Okay, if you're gonna be Mr. Cranky Belly, then I'm going to finish my homework."

"Fine, I'll watch you."

"Yeah, that's not stalkerish."

"Would you prefer if I left?"

"No."

"Now who is talking in one syllable?"

"Shut up or leave."

He chuckled but shut up.

After ten minutes of trying to solve my geometry homework, I gave up and crawled into his lap. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella."

"What are you going to name your baby?"

"I'm not sure. Do you think it will be a boy or girl?"

"I bet it's a boy and you should name it Anthony, for your middle name."

"Why not Edward?"

"I hate it when people name their kids after themselves. It seems selfish. Like 'oh, I love myself so much I'm going to pass my stupid name off to this kid so that my name can be loved even more.'"

"You certainly have some strange opinions."

"I'm a strange person, Edward. You of all people should know that."

"I do know that. So what are you going to name your baby?"

"If it's a boy I was thinking Christopher. And for a girl, I love the name Charlotte. That way I can call her Lottie!"

"Lottie?"

"Or Charly. But I think Lottie is cuter."

"It is."

I yawned deeply and looked at the clock. It was almost ten. "Okay, I need a human minute, then I'm going to sleep. Carrying ten extra pounds really wears a girl out."

**Aw! Baby names! Lol. Okay, I gave you guys two chapters so I want lots of reviews!!**


	6. Unstrapping

It hasn't been a month

**It hasn't been a month! You can't shoot me cuz it hasn't been 4 weeks! Okay, okay, I'm updating!**

**And for everyone who thinks Edward and Bella are OOC, that's cuz I want them to be. So stop PMing me and telling me they're acting weird.**

Chapter 6: Unstrapping

BPOV

Monday was the last day with the bellies and I don't think I could have been happier. I could finally get back to weighing my normal 100 pounds and not feeling like I took up more space than three monster trucks.

Edward had gone home to change for school, leaving me to deal with showering. I knew he wouldn't have helped me with that anyway, but maybe he could have gotten it off.

Unfortunately, since he wasn't here I had to resort to asking Charlie. "Hey, Dad!"

"What, Bella? I gotta go in a sec."

"I need your help."

"Alright, just wait a minute." I heard him lumbering up the steps and planned on how I could ask him. "So what do you need?"

"Can you unstrap this thing from me?" So much for planning.

Charlie's normally pale face went tomato red but he came forward to help me. "So what do I do?"

"Just unbuckle the strap on the back. I can get it from there."

I may have given very easy instructions, but Charlie sure didn't find it simple.

"Uh, here?"

"Yes, dad."

"Okay." He managed to set me free, but he definitely looked scarred for life. Jeez, he hadn't even seen anything, what's with the heart attack?

"Thanks." I decided to be nice. The other night when I told him about being pregnant hadn't turned out so well and I didn't think being sarcastic would help anything.

He left and I was able to shower and get ready without any other problems. Putting the belly on was much easier than getting it off so I managed to do that without his help.

At seven I heard Edward's car pull into the driveway and went out to meet him. He had already taken off the belly, even though Ms Cook had told all of us to keep them on until third period.

"There is no way I'm wearing that another second, and Rosalie agrees with me."

"Whatever, not my problem."

He just smiled at me and started the car. "I'm just glad Mike can't flaunt the fact that you have his 'child' inside of you."

"So am I, you have no idea how annoying he is!"

"Actually I do, and I don't have the luxury of getting away from his voice by just leaving the room." He tapped his head for emphasis.

"Yeah, I guess you got the short end of the stick on that one." We pulled into the school and I could see Mike waiting for me at the entrance. "Well, maybe I have to hang out with him a little longer."

"Hey, cheer up, it's not like you're going to hell or anything!"

"Oh shut it, preggo boy!"

I slammed the door and went to endure one more day with Mike.

Ten days and counting.

**Yeah, it's short. Suck it up and review!**


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